Ruddockulous pandering

Interesting to note that shortly after my calls to prosecute the Beaconsfield miners for copyright breaches vis a vis the stolen music on their iPods, the Attorney General (and Amnesty loving pinko) Pill Ruddockulous, announces a raft of copyright changes allowing everyone to steal the food from the table of the hard working and talent Australian music industry by permitting so called time-shifting and format shifting.

At least it specifies that people can only watch or listen to recordings from tv/radio once (presumably a sensible enforcement strategy will be put in place for this).

Nice to know I still have a bit of pull around here.

It's raining dollars

The treasurer rewarded the hard work of our sort of people in the budget with a cascade of tax breaks that finally go somewhere towards compensating the sacrifices we have all made for the nation. No longer do we have to hunt around for suitable tax dodges minimisation schemes for super payouts (which so often give me and the accountant a headache)

But yet, what the fuck is going on with increasing funding to the ABC? Did no-one notice this obvious typo in the budget documents before they went out. How are we ever going to privatise those pinko Howard-haters if we keep shovelling money down their throat. I guess that's why they got KPMG to run their audit for them.

At least Big Pete didn't go frittering money away on trifles such as health and education - there's still some hope for the boy.

Horace down at the club has been badgering me for weeks to kick up a fuss about some lighting contract he had and lost or some such thing - can't say that I pay that much attention when he gets going, far too much effort keeping the brandy out of range of the flying specs of spittle. Put some piece together which managed to tie it in to the obvious corruption of local government and those hopeless ICAC do-gooders. Bastard better come through with that envelope he promised me and the membership for the wifes idiot cousin.

Had an embarassing turnaround with those miner bludgers when I discovered that the big man (as I'm allowed to call him) actually wants their low-caste music pirating arses to splash around our various organs. Managed to diffuse it by dragging in that speedbump girl - what's her name again? - eh, doesn't matter and spreading about the hallelujahs and praise the lords for their safe returns. Made me feel so dirty having to be nice to the bolshevists but at least I didn't have to say anything about the rescue of the darkies up in the north. Nothing like a 1 ring media circus.

Got a kick in at Tim Flannery for using fuel even though he rants that it contributes to global warming - that'll teach the bastard to fly rather than row. Most of the column was devoted to saying you can't prove it - those boys from the oil lobby really do need to give me some new material, even I'm finding a bit silly now. At least they gave me a Polar Bear researcher to quote - got to love a well resourced organisation.

All in all, a pretty pissweek week for PierceWeek - although at least Beazley has returned to the foreigner hating fold with his attacks on immigrant workers. Actually, his wholesale abandonment of lower Australia was pretty impressive too - maybe we need to McGauren him?

Slap in the face for the best US President ever

As a highly respected and tremendously experienced journalist, I was shocked to see one of our own showing such disrespect to the leader of the free world - President George W Bush.

I don't know why I should be so shocked, it's no surprise that the majority of journalists are freedom hating traitors determined to upset the status quo by pointing out unhelpful facts, however for it to be done in such a hurtful and blatant way simply beggers belief.

At the recent White House Correspondants Association annual dinner, Stephen Colbert delivered a twenty minute speech standing less than 5 feet away from President Bush where he cruelly lampooned our great leader and those around him. (Video here)

Here are some of the unfunny remarks

Wow! Wow, what an honor! The White House Correspondents' dinner. To actually -- to sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush, to be this close to the man. I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You know what? I'm a pretty sound sleeper; that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face. Is he really not here tonight? Damn it! The one guy who could have helped.

Most of all, I believe in this president. Now, I know there are some polls out there saying that this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias.

Lazy miners are no heroes

The surviving Beaconsfield miners are nothing more than lazy, thieving union layabouts and should repay every cent of the cost of their "rescue" when they are removed from their luxury underground hotel room.

For years now, Hollywood celebrities and other deserving rich listers have had to pay thousands of dollars to spend time in what are known as sensory deprivation chambers, private unlit, soundproof spaces where they are able to take the time away from the hustle and bustle of day to day life to regroup and collect their thoughts before returning to their demanding lives.

But that wasn't good enough for the comrades in the CFMEU - rather than choosing to work hard, invest wisely and bide their time, they took it upon themselves to take a shortcut and "suffer" an alleged "cave-in" - and had the gall to suggest that it was directly due to a seismic event caused by unsafe work practices of the mine owners. They saw a free ticket to some quality sensory deprivation time and they stole it.

For 13 days now, gold mining operations at Beaconsfield have been shut down now, at great cost to mine management and the Australian economy. I have personally been affected by this union arrogance with the delay of a set of gold cufflinks that I have been expecting for more than a week.

But it's not only the cost of the shutdown and rescue operation that is galling - possibly the worst crime (as yet unmentioned - surprise surprise - by the pinko arse-bandits of the Australian media) is the theft of income from hardworking, decent multinational music corporations. Earlier in the week, iPods containing music illegally copied from cd were supplied to the "trapped" miners. Under current copyright law in this country, this is a serious offence and if police do not arrest these music thieves on their eventual exit from their state subsidised workers holiday, it will be just another indication that this nation is going to hell in a handbasket.

In other news, I was able to give some charities a good kicking this week for presuming to know more about welfare than this nations elected representatives, I mean for the Lord's sake, just because they minister to hundreds of thousands of povvos on a daily basis, where do they get off telling our glorious leader (and my personal friend) that maybe welfare could be handled more humanely. Elite humanitarians are a pox on this country and need to be cut down to size. They're now on my list.


Elsewhere, shirtlifting postmodernist tree-hugger Jeff Kennett was too soft to return to state politics - he's obviously been spending too much time trying to convince people that depression is a legitimate illness instead of telling people to build a bridge and get over - don't these people get that it takes 43 muscles to frown and only 7 to smile. Do the sums people and stop moping around wasting our time. He's obviously bought into this ridiculous culture that says some people need to be taken care of and can see that state government is no place for that.


Finally, had a beautiful moment talking about the freedom hating terrorist "governments" in the towelhead zone when I chided my audience for ever being sucked in by the suggestion that Saddam Hussein had nuclear weapons.

I mean, I never believed that line for a second (note to self - have archive of columns 2002-2003 accidentally deleted) - of course it helps when you have the PM and his band of monkeys to tell you what the real story is (when they remember or someone passes that information on to them in the first place, of course).

In the beginning was the word

Half a league, half a league, half a league forward...with these words I herald my entry into the so-called blogosphere.

In this space I shall have free rein to truly speak my mind, unhindered by the visionless, politically correct lackeys and lickspittles of my glorious employer, Ruprecht Merdeshlock, one of the few men in the world who appreciates my all encompassing understanding of the world and sees fit to print it in the largest print media organ in this country, the Daily Sun.

All I ever seem to hear is "Great column today Pierce - we just need to trim it a bit...for space". Funny that it's always my most salient points and blinding insights (controversial as they may be) that end on the virtual cutting room floor. How these pinko fellow travellers manage to slip through the ViewsCorp net escapes me - must be some sort of secret affirmative action plan for the retarded I'm yet to uncover.

But no more. From here on in it's all Pierce all the time, uncut, uncensored and unoppressed.

Stay tuned.